Family, Consumer and Human Development
EMERGING ADULTHOOD: Completing a Marriage Contract.
This questionnaire is intended to help you think about the multitude of decisions that must be made during marriage. Complete the following questionnaire with a significant other or friend. Identify areas of agreement and disagreement between your responses. What questions do you feel would be the most controversial in a marriage? If you are married, or have been married you may describe how certain questions have directly influenced your marriage and how you have resolved them. Add any advice you would give to someone entering marriage.
a. Where will you live?
We will live on U of U housing,
b. Where will you work? If one of you is promoted, what circumstances will affect your decision to take the promotion (e.g., would you be willing to move far away?)
I will be an elementary teacher teaching kindergarten! We will be willing to move away if it is needed.
c. Do you plan on attending church? If so, what religion will you follow?
We will stick to our religion now which is LDS
d. Do you plan on pursuing more education or vocational training?
No I do not plan on doing another one
e. Who will be responsible for household bills?
I think it is important to do the bills together.
f. How will household chores be divided?
Once we start having kids I will take over the chores but until I am a stay at home mom I think it should be split evenly. I will do the cooking.
g. What type of transportation will you use?
We will have 1 car until we can afford another one. And we will just use the bus for transportation.
h. Do you plan on renting or buying a house?
We will be renting a house until we can afford one.
i.Will finances be combined or kept separate? How will money be managed? What kind of budget will be kept?
Finances will be combined and we will form a budget plan that we will strictly follow. Especially during school.
j. How will you spend holidays? (e.g. will you split holidays between both sides of the family?
a. How much time will you spend with one another’s family?)
We will do Christmas Eve at both families and Christmas day at both families.
k. Do you plan on having children? If so, how many? Who will take care of the children?
We will have 4-6 kids and I as the mother will take care of them!
l. Will both parents work? If not, who will stay home? How will you account for the differences in income if one parent stays home?
Lee will work and I will stay home with the kids. If times get rough I will go back to teaching.
m. What kind of discipline will you use? Will one parent be more responsible for the discipline? If so, why?
I think we should both be in charge of the discipline. Equal is best.
n. Where will the children go to school? Do you plan on sending your child to college? If so, how will you finance it?
They will go to school where ever seems best. We will start a fund for them to attend college!
o. How much time will you spend together?
We will spend a lot of time together because we will be in love!
p. How will you handle marital conflict?
We will take time at night and discuss them. And we will decide because sometimes it is just best to go to bed early.
q. What will you do for leisure time activities?
We will work out together, and go on walks together, and see movies together!
r. How much time will be spent with friends and coworkers?
We can have the occasional date night but no matter what we will be together for the activities.
s. Will you have a prenuptial agreement? Explain why or why not
No, because no matter what we will not get divorced. Marriage to me is a one time thing. No divorce. We will work through our problems if there are any.
This questionnaire is intended to help you think about the multitude of decisions that must be made during marriage. Complete the following questionnaire with a significant other or friend. Identify areas of agreement and disagreement between your responses. What questions do you feel would be the most controversial in a marriage? If you are married, or have been married you may describe how certain questions have directly influenced your marriage and how you have resolved them. Add any advice you would give to someone entering marriage.
a. Where will you live?
We will live on U of U housing,
b. Where will you work? If one of you is promoted, what circumstances will affect your decision to take the promotion (e.g., would you be willing to move far away?)
I will be an elementary teacher teaching kindergarten! We will be willing to move away if it is needed.
c. Do you plan on attending church? If so, what religion will you follow?
We will stick to our religion now which is LDS
d. Do you plan on pursuing more education or vocational training?
No I do not plan on doing another one
e. Who will be responsible for household bills?
I think it is important to do the bills together.
f. How will household chores be divided?
Once we start having kids I will take over the chores but until I am a stay at home mom I think it should be split evenly. I will do the cooking.
g. What type of transportation will you use?
We will have 1 car until we can afford another one. And we will just use the bus for transportation.
h. Do you plan on renting or buying a house?
We will be renting a house until we can afford one.
i.Will finances be combined or kept separate? How will money be managed? What kind of budget will be kept?
Finances will be combined and we will form a budget plan that we will strictly follow. Especially during school.
j. How will you spend holidays? (e.g. will you split holidays between both sides of the family?
a. How much time will you spend with one another’s family?)
We will do Christmas Eve at both families and Christmas day at both families.
k. Do you plan on having children? If so, how many? Who will take care of the children?
We will have 4-6 kids and I as the mother will take care of them!
l. Will both parents work? If not, who will stay home? How will you account for the differences in income if one parent stays home?
Lee will work and I will stay home with the kids. If times get rough I will go back to teaching.
m. What kind of discipline will you use? Will one parent be more responsible for the discipline? If so, why?
I think we should both be in charge of the discipline. Equal is best.
n. Where will the children go to school? Do you plan on sending your child to college? If so, how will you finance it?
They will go to school where ever seems best. We will start a fund for them to attend college!
o. How much time will you spend together?
We will spend a lot of time together because we will be in love!
p. How will you handle marital conflict?
We will take time at night and discuss them. And we will decide because sometimes it is just best to go to bed early.
q. What will you do for leisure time activities?
We will work out together, and go on walks together, and see movies together!
r. How much time will be spent with friends and coworkers?
We can have the occasional date night but no matter what we will be together for the activities.
s. Will you have a prenuptial agreement? Explain why or why not
No, because no matter what we will not get divorced. Marriage to me is a one time thing. No divorce. We will work through our problems if there are any.
Reality Assignment 3
Ashley Easton
I have thought about so many of the details of my life in the future when I get married. I even have it down to the boy that I want to end up with. (He is on an LDS mission though, but we do have plans to be together when he gets home!) Before he left on his mission we actually discussed all of these questions. It makes me so excited for the next steps of marriage and being considered officially a grown up and starting a family of my own!
My boyfriends name is Lee, and he is going into Engineering at the University of Utah. We will both attend the U, and live on their married living housing once we get married. I will work as a kindergarten teacher until we start our family and then I will quit so that I will be able to be a stay at home mom to our kids.
We have both grown up strong in our religion so we will continue strong in that and raise our kids in the LDS faith as well. Also while growing up I noticed that my parents really split the work. They each took part in doing the bills and keeping our house clean and organized. I have seen how this worked for my parents, and I think equality makes a marriage work. I do realize though that as soon as I start having kids that I will take on the responsibility of doing the house chores more so than Lee because he will be at work all day.
Money will be hard as it is with all new couples. I think it is so important to save, especially when you first start out as a new couple (Berger.) I understand that we won’t be able to afford a house, so renting one for now will be great with me! We will definitely have to make a budget though for our groceries and fun money. We will have a combined bank account. For a while we will only have enough money for one car, so the other person who doesn’t need the car will drive the other person to work, or they can take the local bus. Saving money is so important and so as soon as we start having kids it is important to start an account for their schooling.
We both have very close families so splitting family time may be difficult at first. The way that my parents have done it in the past (which seems to work) is just to take turns. Even on some days we can just visit both so that way we are still able to remain close to our families even though we will be out of the house and married.
I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. To me that has always been such an important role that I have just known ever since I was little that that was what I was supposed to be when I got older. I will be a stay at home mom while Lee is at work. I have also always wanted a big family just like I have now. My ideal amount would be around four to six kids. I would love the typical big Mormon family!
Spending time together as a couple and enjoying each other’s company and taking time out of your everyday lives to spend time with your spouse is so important. It brings a couple closer (Vaterlaus.) I have been with Lee for three years and never once did we get sick of each other. Hopefully marriage will be just as fun and enjoyable as this was! I really want to spend as much time with him as I can. When we do face a conflict we will sit down at the end of the day and talk it out. Divorce has never and will never be an option for me. No matter how big the conflict we will work it out and make our marriage stronger and stronger ever day.
Before Lee left on his mission some of the activities we really enjoyed doing was working out together, going to dinner, going to movies, playing Lego Indiana Jones, and even just taking car rides. I would think that if we got married we would do the same leisure activities.
I am so excited to move on to this next part of my life! Planning my future can be overwhelming but being married and starting my family is one thing that I am not scared about at all. It will be interesting to see if everything will be as predicted. I think if I stick to these goals I will have a good and happy marriage and life.
Ashley Easton
I have thought about so many of the details of my life in the future when I get married. I even have it down to the boy that I want to end up with. (He is on an LDS mission though, but we do have plans to be together when he gets home!) Before he left on his mission we actually discussed all of these questions. It makes me so excited for the next steps of marriage and being considered officially a grown up and starting a family of my own!
My boyfriends name is Lee, and he is going into Engineering at the University of Utah. We will both attend the U, and live on their married living housing once we get married. I will work as a kindergarten teacher until we start our family and then I will quit so that I will be able to be a stay at home mom to our kids.
We have both grown up strong in our religion so we will continue strong in that and raise our kids in the LDS faith as well. Also while growing up I noticed that my parents really split the work. They each took part in doing the bills and keeping our house clean and organized. I have seen how this worked for my parents, and I think equality makes a marriage work. I do realize though that as soon as I start having kids that I will take on the responsibility of doing the house chores more so than Lee because he will be at work all day.
Money will be hard as it is with all new couples. I think it is so important to save, especially when you first start out as a new couple (Berger.) I understand that we won’t be able to afford a house, so renting one for now will be great with me! We will definitely have to make a budget though for our groceries and fun money. We will have a combined bank account. For a while we will only have enough money for one car, so the other person who doesn’t need the car will drive the other person to work, or they can take the local bus. Saving money is so important and so as soon as we start having kids it is important to start an account for their schooling.
We both have very close families so splitting family time may be difficult at first. The way that my parents have done it in the past (which seems to work) is just to take turns. Even on some days we can just visit both so that way we are still able to remain close to our families even though we will be out of the house and married.
I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. To me that has always been such an important role that I have just known ever since I was little that that was what I was supposed to be when I got older. I will be a stay at home mom while Lee is at work. I have also always wanted a big family just like I have now. My ideal amount would be around four to six kids. I would love the typical big Mormon family!
Spending time together as a couple and enjoying each other’s company and taking time out of your everyday lives to spend time with your spouse is so important. It brings a couple closer (Vaterlaus.) I have been with Lee for three years and never once did we get sick of each other. Hopefully marriage will be just as fun and enjoyable as this was! I really want to spend as much time with him as I can. When we do face a conflict we will sit down at the end of the day and talk it out. Divorce has never and will never be an option for me. No matter how big the conflict we will work it out and make our marriage stronger and stronger ever day.
Before Lee left on his mission some of the activities we really enjoyed doing was working out together, going to dinner, going to movies, playing Lego Indiana Jones, and even just taking car rides. I would think that if we got married we would do the same leisure activities.
I am so excited to move on to this next part of my life! Planning my future can be overwhelming but being married and starting my family is one thing that I am not scared about at all. It will be interesting to see if everything will be as predicted. I think if I stick to these goals I will have a good and happy marriage and life.
Reality Assignment 1
I have always loved to hold babies! Ever since I was a little girl I have just always wanted to hold any baby, even if it was crying. For this assignment I was able to hold my cousin Wyatt. He is 5 months old and is so sweet!
While I was holding him he didn’t fuss at all. That showed that he had good biosocial characteristics. He was very peaceful so I his cognitive characteristics I’m sure were just regular baby things, wondering what was going on all around him. He was looking around quite a bit. He psychosocial characteristics were that he was smiling quite a bit. I like to think it was me that made him smile but I think that all it was is that he had gas.
He was so cute when he was smiling at me! I knew he wasn’t actually smiling because I was making funny faces at him, after learning from FCHD we learned that this is what is called a social smile. It is just a regular emotion to them. (VATERLAUS) I absolutely loved holding him. While I was standing their bouncing him while all my aunts and uncles were talking my arms were getting really tired because I was bouncing him. The whole time Wyatt was extremely content and just looking around enjoying his surroundings. He didn’t cry even a little bit!
Once or twice he would squish his eyes closed, furrow his brow, and start to squirm but it was usually when I was not looking at him. The reason why he did this was because he was experiencing stage three of the Six Sensorimotors Intelligence. Stage three states that this is the time when making interesting sights last and when the infant is respondent to people and objects. (BERGER) All I would do it look back down at him and just say “Hey buddy! What’s wrong?” And he would instantly stop and be right back to his super sweet self. He was very easy to soothe.
His mom (my cousin) sat on the couch and was able to enjoy the adults and their conversation and not have to worry about her cute little boy. It felt good to be able to give Wyatt’s parents a break for the night so they could take some time away from being a worried parent and just be able to relax with the family. I would anytime take that baby and hold him so his parents could enjoy their night.
I have always loved to hold babies! Ever since I was a little girl I have just always wanted to hold any baby, even if it was crying. For this assignment I was able to hold my cousin Wyatt. He is 5 months old and is so sweet!
While I was holding him he didn’t fuss at all. That showed that he had good biosocial characteristics. He was very peaceful so I his cognitive characteristics I’m sure were just regular baby things, wondering what was going on all around him. He was looking around quite a bit. He psychosocial characteristics were that he was smiling quite a bit. I like to think it was me that made him smile but I think that all it was is that he had gas.
He was so cute when he was smiling at me! I knew he wasn’t actually smiling because I was making funny faces at him, after learning from FCHD we learned that this is what is called a social smile. It is just a regular emotion to them. (VATERLAUS) I absolutely loved holding him. While I was standing their bouncing him while all my aunts and uncles were talking my arms were getting really tired because I was bouncing him. The whole time Wyatt was extremely content and just looking around enjoying his surroundings. He didn’t cry even a little bit!
Once or twice he would squish his eyes closed, furrow his brow, and start to squirm but it was usually when I was not looking at him. The reason why he did this was because he was experiencing stage three of the Six Sensorimotors Intelligence. Stage three states that this is the time when making interesting sights last and when the infant is respondent to people and objects. (BERGER) All I would do it look back down at him and just say “Hey buddy! What’s wrong?” And he would instantly stop and be right back to his super sweet self. He was very easy to soothe.
His mom (my cousin) sat on the couch and was able to enjoy the adults and their conversation and not have to worry about her cute little boy. It felt good to be able to give Wyatt’s parents a break for the night so they could take some time away from being a worried parent and just be able to relax with the family. I would anytime take that baby and hold him so his parents could enjoy their night.
Dating
I remember when I was first allowed to date I was so excited! Growing up I had the typical rule of needing to be sixteen before dating. So the buildup was intense! After my first date I was shocked to see how it was totally not even close to what I had expected.
I asked dating questions to my brothers to see what they kind of thought of dating. They are all in their teens and only one has had the chance to really date. All three gave basically the exact same answer as to what dating meant. To them in meant a form of interaction with the opposite sex and doing an activity together while getting to know the other person. I was even shocked to hear that they had the same qualities of the type of girl that they wanted to date. They each wanted a fun girl who was not shy and was up for any activity.
The girls I interviewed also had the same idea of what a date was. The only difference was that they each mentioned that they would be dating to find husbands. Girls all stated that they want a boy who was going to respect them, be open with them, and of course have fun!
When I asked the boys what their qualities were that they could offer to a date both the boys and the girls had a harder time coming up with answers. They also both agreed that the best way to initiate a relationship was to communicate and stabilize a friendship first! Friendship should be the base of all relationships. (BERGER) I loved that because that is what I believe makes dating so much fun!
I then added some of my own questions. I asked them what they thought of girls asking guys out. The girls immediately freaked out at this question and all claimed “no”. They felt like it was totally the boy’s responsibility. While the boys felt like that would be the best if a girl ever asked them out! I agree with the girls. I think it is the boy’s job to ask the girls out for sure.
Overall from this experience I really enjoyed being able to hear both sides of the arguments. I learned a lot about how innocent these young teenagers minds are. It will be interesting to see how they react to their “perfect” first date experience! Just like mine!
I remember when I was first allowed to date I was so excited! Growing up I had the typical rule of needing to be sixteen before dating. So the buildup was intense! After my first date I was shocked to see how it was totally not even close to what I had expected.
I asked dating questions to my brothers to see what they kind of thought of dating. They are all in their teens and only one has had the chance to really date. All three gave basically the exact same answer as to what dating meant. To them in meant a form of interaction with the opposite sex and doing an activity together while getting to know the other person. I was even shocked to hear that they had the same qualities of the type of girl that they wanted to date. They each wanted a fun girl who was not shy and was up for any activity.
The girls I interviewed also had the same idea of what a date was. The only difference was that they each mentioned that they would be dating to find husbands. Girls all stated that they want a boy who was going to respect them, be open with them, and of course have fun!
When I asked the boys what their qualities were that they could offer to a date both the boys and the girls had a harder time coming up with answers. They also both agreed that the best way to initiate a relationship was to communicate and stabilize a friendship first! Friendship should be the base of all relationships. (BERGER) I loved that because that is what I believe makes dating so much fun!
I then added some of my own questions. I asked them what they thought of girls asking guys out. The girls immediately freaked out at this question and all claimed “no”. They felt like it was totally the boy’s responsibility. While the boys felt like that would be the best if a girl ever asked them out! I agree with the girls. I think it is the boy’s job to ask the girls out for sure.
Overall from this experience I really enjoyed being able to hear both sides of the arguments. I learned a lot about how innocent these young teenagers minds are. It will be interesting to see how they react to their “perfect” first date experience! Just like mine!
Capstone Assignment
Ashley Easton
For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to become an Elementary School teacher. Being in the Family Consumer and Human Development class helped me seriously think about if being an Elementary School teacher was right for me. I learned a ton and I now for sure know exactly what I am doing with my future.
I came into this class really feeling like teaching was the best for me. I had set so many goals about getting school done fast and being motivated to do so. Teaching seemed also like the ideal job because I would be able to be home with my kids when they got home from school and still be a mom to them! I know that being an elementary school teacher is what I would be the very best at and that I would absolutely love my job!
What I learned from in class lessons that I find will be the most beneficially to me in my life is how to deal with the challenging child. The five things to do when dealing with a difficult child is to use 4 positives to 1 negative interactions, structured/routine/defined boundaries, encouragement, and delayed consequences. (Vaterlaus)
Something that I learned from the readings in the textbook that will help me in becoming a Kindergarten teacher is what the Montessori method is and how I want to teach by it. The Montessori method is what we realize that small kids are not small adults. They learn from activities that some adults would refer to as play. (Berger) I believe this is so important because in order for kids to start off loving school (in kindergarten) they need to be able to relax and enjoy school but still learn through simple, fun activities!
I am so excited to become an elementary school teacher! Not only did this class help me a TON prepare for that as my career but it also gave me some great advice and thoughts on becoming a future wife and mother! I enjoyed this class so much and it helped me really get excited for my future!
Ashley Easton
For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to become an Elementary School teacher. Being in the Family Consumer and Human Development class helped me seriously think about if being an Elementary School teacher was right for me. I learned a ton and I now for sure know exactly what I am doing with my future.
I came into this class really feeling like teaching was the best for me. I had set so many goals about getting school done fast and being motivated to do so. Teaching seemed also like the ideal job because I would be able to be home with my kids when they got home from school and still be a mom to them! I know that being an elementary school teacher is what I would be the very best at and that I would absolutely love my job!
What I learned from in class lessons that I find will be the most beneficially to me in my life is how to deal with the challenging child. The five things to do when dealing with a difficult child is to use 4 positives to 1 negative interactions, structured/routine/defined boundaries, encouragement, and delayed consequences. (Vaterlaus)
Something that I learned from the readings in the textbook that will help me in becoming a Kindergarten teacher is what the Montessori method is and how I want to teach by it. The Montessori method is what we realize that small kids are not small adults. They learn from activities that some adults would refer to as play. (Berger) I believe this is so important because in order for kids to start off loving school (in kindergarten) they need to be able to relax and enjoy school but still learn through simple, fun activities!
I am so excited to become an elementary school teacher! Not only did this class help me a TON prepare for that as my career but it also gave me some great advice and thoughts on becoming a future wife and mother! I enjoyed this class so much and it helped me really get excited for my future!